My New Moon

Have you ever tried to run away from the thing you want more than anything else in the world? The one thing that brings you the most joy, happiness, and love? I know, it makes no sense to do so, but I have done it. I had at my fingertips the one thing, the one person really, that I want more than anyone else in the world. Edward Cullen. I love him and I have loved him for years. He is the most cumulatively wonderful person I have ever known. He is a very good man, with a soft heart, a strong mind, who took so much effort to keep a smile on my face, try to get some wisdom in my head, and succeeded in solidifying joy and love in my heart. He has made me happier than any other person ever could. He is at the very core of my being. My contentment in life has revolved around my feelings for him, for several years now. So how could I leave him? I left because I could envsion myself waiting around forever for him, wistfully, but not unhappily, watching my hopes and dreams die with the passing years. Dreams of life with him. Life, family, and growing old together. In my mind it had been too many years already. The years kept going... my silly 'plan' was not happening. That was such foolish thought. Time. Who cares about time. It means nothing when all is said and done. I will not have missed opportunities and huge regrets unless I try to do things my way. I see that now. I tried to make things happen my way, in my time frame. When that didn't work I tried to push him out, to cover it from my view, to leave no room for thoughts of him and no thought for what I was giving up. I filled my time with other people, Eric Yorkie and Mike Newton, people who said they wanted me. People who said they would make all my dreams come true. I found Jacob Black, my friend and my distraction. Jacob has been an effective distraction, he showed me a different side of life, he did nothing Edward does. He was both attractive and detestable, for that reason. When I left Edward I thought somehow that he would see me with them, living without him, then giving him a reason to act quickly or lose me. Edward asked me if that's what was going on and I denied it both to him and to myself, but in hindsight, I thought he would come for me. Isn't that what happens in books and movies? He didn't. I can't believe I attempted it. I should have known. He knows I will always do as it suits me and if I desired to go, he would not stop me. Now, I think of him often. I listen to the words of the songs he meant for me, and the meaning behind those words. I hear his voice in my mind, encouraging me, congratulating me, and chidding me with every effort, success, and failure. I think of what was there, what I threw away. We had something that happens only once in a lifetime. Just once. We have both been so consumed by the inconvenient details (that appear as a mountain instead of the speck of sand they actually are in the eternal view) to realize that it will be the sorrow at our pride that will keep us up nights for years and years into the future wishing that things, lots of things, had been done differently. I wish now that I could undo what has been done. I wish that things between us were the way they were before everything got so mixed up. I wish I had listened to my heart instead of my foolish head. I wish I hadn't listened to what everyone filled it up with. That's just the trouble though with wishes... they're made of coins dropped in wells, first stars in the night sky, hopes for handsome princes and dreams of castles in the clouds. Even so, I drop coins into fountains, wait for the first star of the evening, and my birthday wish has been the same for 4 years and will be for years to come... just in case there is any truth to it. But I'm terribly afraid that wishing for it just doesn't make it so. I don't know if it even could be undone, if we could start over. I asked him if I could meet him in Rome, under the clock tower... to save us before it was too late. He declined. He is in Rome, but I don't know where the clock tower is, and he does not want me to come. He is done. I left him and he has taken efforts to mend and get on without me. I could not really expect otherwise. What other choice did I leave for him? I find myself grappling for the truth that I know is there, but I see no evidence of it. It's just air. I cannot fathom that it could be true, it cannot be done... it isn't done, it never has been, it should never be. What is meant to be, must be, right? I want him back. I asked him if he could take me back after the cruel pain I inflicted on him. He said that he could not answer, because either answer yeilded unfavorable results. What can I hear now but those words, "I have been thinking about it a lot lately, every day, all day actually, and I don't think it's a good idea." I want him back. I don't care what anybody thinks or what anybody says about time, or what I deserve, or anything really. I was happier and more content with him than I ever was at any time without his presence in my life. Sure, things weren't perfect, there was always something to work on, something that would have been really nice to never have had to deal with, something he could change or I could change. But I was happy with him. Sure, he wasn't as perfect as I initially thought, I am far from the wonderful things he thought of me, but I love his perfect imperfections, the things that added spice to life... even if sometimes that spice was paprika. Well, that's not maybe the best descriptive spice for it. Most times I was the paprika... he was usually more like rosemary; wonderful, and something I'd never experienced before meeting him. If I could tell him something I would say, Edward, I'm so sorry I left you. I'm so sorry. Please... I know it's inconvenient, and very scary for both of us, but I don't want my life to be lived without you. My shortsightedness was foolish, selfish pride. I can't believe I gave you up, and gave up on you, for those things. Would any of you reading this give away what you have, your love, the person who is your world because he or she didn't see things quite the way you did? Especially if he or she was right? Only he and I know the story, the ins and outs of what and why things happened the way they did. Only he and I knew that no matter the good or the bad it looked like on the outside, we are perfect for each other. Almost all of our strengths and weaknesses compliment the other. Only he and I knew that nothing mattered except what our hearts spoke to eachother. We knew that until I chose to disregard it because I thought that he didn't want me as much as Mike and Eric did. Oh how prodigiously wrong I was. A mere six months later I don't speak to either of them. I have been a fool... for nothing. I would give anything to change this, to break this distance.

Welcome to the Circus

About a week or so ago I get this call at work from Javier Bardem. He says, "Hey, are you doing anything next Tuesday?" "Ummmm... no?" "Well, hey do you want to go with me to the Britney Spears concert, I have an extra ticket and since you and I both like the same kind of music I thought I'd see if you want to come!" "Sure! Of course!" Now, I like Britney just fine, I used to watch a lot of ET TV and she was always starring... this is like 5-6 years ago or so when she was breaking up with Justin Timberlake and all that. I can't say I had even considered buying a ticket to the concert, but if it's free... Anyway, so Tuesday came along and we had planned to meet at a gas station then go drop off one of our cars at his brother's house... ok, fine, no prob right? It was rainy that day, when I pulled up next to him and he got out with a bag full of 7-9 different kinds of beverages... Dr. Pepper, Coke, Mtn Dew, a couple different kinds of Powerade, RedBull, water, and whatever else. He said, "I didn't know what you like." "Um, I don't really like soda and I'm kinda picky with Powerade, so I'll just take the water." No no no, it's all for me to keep! Uh, ok then but I really won't drink any of it but the water. Whatever... so we drove... and kept driving. I made 3 phone calls before we got to his brother's house... and once we got there nobody was home. We went in and it wasn't long before he told me he lives there and wants me to drive my car because he is planning on doing a lot of drinking and then I'll have to drive him out here before I go home... wha-huh? I don't think so. I suggest that we drive separately and he can drive himself home, not really understanding that he is wanting to get sloshed. He decided to get a hotel room downtown, fairly nearby... for $150. Whatever, if that's what he wanted to do, I wasn't going to stop him. We went to grab a bite to eat at a little Mexican place and then stopped off to get him some more beer. I told him I was fine with the bag of drinks he had gotten me before so he bought me a cowgirl hat that he thought I might like as he was walking past it. It is is pretty cute. So we drove separately to the hotel where he dropped off his car and invited me up to see the room. Uhhh, we have like 20 minutes before it starts.... that's ok there's still the Pussycat Dolls before... well, I want to see them too... ok well just for a minute then... ok, A minute, one, uno momento... ok...ok. So 5 momentos later we are back in my car and I asked where the arena is. He said, "I dunno girl, I don't know where we are going." I was like... "Excuse me, Javier, are you Seriously out of your Freaking mind? Do you not realize I have never even heard of this place except when it was mentioned on the radio for something, and I have not even the Slightest Inkling of a Clue as to where on Earth we are supposed to be going???" ...As we all know, I did not say that... I very sweetly said, "Call 411 and find out the address then" *blink blink* He does, twice... because he'd had 2 beers by then and couldn't get the directions out correctly. We drove in circles for about 10 minutes, finally got there, and found our seats. Oh, I have to paint a clearer picture of the awkwardness of how we looked. I was in my dark wash designer jeans, and a cute bright top, with my hair straightened and pulled up a little. He was in jeans and a white button-up long sleeved dress-shirt. It was unbuttoned to expose his whole chest, displaying gold and silver chains. He also wore a black blazer and dress shoes. He had gold and silver earrings and one in his eyebrow that drew your attention away from the thick guy-liner under his eyes. Attention was further drawn away by the gold and silver and black bangle bracelets on his wrist... making the short black nails seem to really wrap it all together. Oh, and we can't forget the massively tall glass of beer in each hand. Oh, and he's about 5'3" with 3" hair making him that tall. The Pussycat Dolls still had several songs left when we got them, and it was cool to catch the end of their show. Actually, I don't know if it was the end or not, but we heard 3 or 4 of their songs. We went down to the floor to find a place where we can see. I got a place where I was super close the front. He had those beers so he couldn't squeeze in as well, and was behind me to my left. I knew it would happen, and it did... someone bumped him, and myself and the girl directly in front of him got drenched in beer. Ugh... now I'm wet and stinky and the girl's boyfriend turns to him and said, "Nice one, Dude." Javier Bardem leans over to him and all full of drunk attitude says, "Do you have a problem with that?" Seriously? Did he really just say that???? The guy says "Of course I have a problem with that, you just spilled your beer all over my girl" They discussed it for a few minutes and the guy said, "Man, I know you didn't do it on purpose, just chill" and then was disinterested in it altogether. Javier Bardem leans over to me and says, "Watch out, I'm gonna deck him... and his friend too." He is obviously drunk so I brush it off. Both of the guys were a lot bigger than him... doesn't he realize that? I am into the concert, and not paying any attention until about ten minutes later a girl near me says she is scared because this guy, Javier Bardem, is going to start a fight with her standing next to him! I get over to him and he shoves his jacket and watch into my hands as he starts ceremoniously rolling up his sleeves. I rolled my eyes, and told him not to, just chill out, and that he'll get himself kicked out. After a little reasoning I gave him back his stuff and he disappeared for the duration of the concert. The concert was awesome, Britney came out and the crowd went wild. If you watch the music video for the 'Ringleader' song, her concert uses a ton of those effects. It was very well done. It's funny... she came over to us only ten feet away and she looked just like she did on tv. Like a regular girl... all dressed up. She didn't seem like I thought a seasoned super star, like she is, might. Just a regular girl doing her thing. It kinda made me feel sorry for all the garbage she has had to deal with because of her fame. She did put on quite a show, it was really a lot of fun to watch. She kept the energy up and hit all her marks. Now, in true Britney fashion, it was kind of ridiculous to see that every outfit consisted of less and less material, but y'know, it's Britney, isn't that exactly what we expect? All things said, it was a total blast and I completely enjoyed myself. The finale was spectacular, with a shower of sparkles coming down from the ceiling... like in the video... but in hindsight it wasn't particularly any less spectacular than any of the rest of the show. It was really fun. Then I looked around and Javier Bardem is nowhere to be found. A moment later I saw his text, "I got kicked out, I'm out front." It was raining again and when I eventually found him he was wandering around with this glazed look on his face... he was totally wasted. He pulled out this pink "It's Britney" baby t-shirt that he'd bought while he was waiting for the concert to end. It actually fits me quite well. On the way to the car he told me the story of how he was "wrongfully" kicked out. Apparently some guy was hitting girls and he got blamed for it and being upset that he was wrongfully accused he started mouthing off to security telling him that he's going to beat him and whatnot. Someone came over to witness that he wasn't doing anything wrong, but by then security was upset at his attitude and kicked him out anyway!!!!! The Injustice of it!!! I had to chuckle... inside of course. Then he didn't know how to get back to the hotel. Again, I told him to call the place... he didn't have the number... then call 411. We found it and I thanked him for the ticket and the stellar concert, and sped off as casually as I could muster.

Here are some more pics/video of the concert... from my camera...Gotta love it :o)

A New Place

This Alias is a tough one... his name is well-known but his face is only in the mind. So paint yourself a mental picture of this man. He was impossibly beautiful, comparable to the Greek god, Adonis. His facial features were perfect and angular—high cheekbones, strong jawline, a straight nose, and full lips. His hair, which is always messy, is a bronze shade, his eyes are golden with traces of green, he is tall, and has a slender but muscular body. That's the Wikipedia description of Edward Cullen.

My favorite part is his eyes. Not the color, but the fire in them, the intensity maybe. They draw you in, and you don't want to look away. They are amazing and are framed with thick, long lashes. He does have a rather perfect mouth as well, and when he smiles, I can't help but be instantly filled with joy. I was in love with him, at least I thought I was at the time. Edward in my mind stayed handsome forever, but this one would melt like the wax in the afternoon sun. (Anyway, I clearly need to go on)
One day he called me over to his house and when I arrived, it wasn't long before he asked me if I'd like to go to dinner. I said yes and he told me about this new little Italian place he thought I'd like to try. I asked him where it was and he said it was just around the corner. He said it was new, intimate, and that he thought we could enjoy a nice, romantic evening there. Edward started to gather his things to go. He grabbed a jacket, as it was a little chilly out, and his wallet, and keys, and we headed out the front door and down the steps. We walked toward where the car was parked and as we got to the steps that lead to the apartment next door (which also accessed his) he said he forgot something and needed to go back up. We headed back up, he unlocked the door and we went in. Then he set down the jacket, keys and wallet, and helped me out of my jacket as he told me to have a seat at the table. I wondered aloud why we were getting all settled. What could he have forgotten that required so much time that we were obviously not leaving for a while? Edward said he just needed to check something really quick... which didn't make sense, but as he was saying that he turned to the oven, opened it, and carefully took out a perfect little pizza for two. He said "Dinner is served' in his best accent, and as he set it down I saw that it was not just any normal pizza. Edward Cullen had made it himself! ...and what's more he had made it from scratch. It had all the things I like and nothing I don't. He took out some plates and set them before me on the table and as I sat in surprised awe, we commenced an absolutely delightful, and delicious dinner at the most perfect little eatery I have ever been to in my life.

In hindsight, he was a lying, vile, snake in the grass that I wish I had never met... so there's that.

When No Means Yes

Wilmer Valderrama was one guy that I really really liked. We meshed really well, he was very handsome, very polished, a delightfully good kisser, spoke Italian sweet nothing in my ears, we communicated very well, and we had a lot of common interests. We flirted a lot for the first six months or so that we knew each other, and then one early December night we were alone, standing in a courtyard with Christmas lights all around and soft music playing... he held my cold hands, and he kissed me. I was smitten. Smote. Done for. We filled the next two months with each other and not a whole lot else. We did a lot and talked a lot and I thought things were going really well. Then one day he told me that he was coming over that night and wants to talk to me. Ok, no prob, what could go wrong... right? He came over a little later, bearing a chocolate bundt cake. Myself and my roomies liked different toppings on cake so he had divided the toppings into three sections. One third had chocolate drizzled over it, another had powdered sugar, and the last had coconut. Wow, how sweet! ... How thoughtful! ...How ...culinary! We fawned over it gratefully and Wilmer lapped it up. I was all too pleased that he was mine! I happily got in the car and we went for a drive. We stopped on a long empty street lined with trees on both sides. I asked him what he wanted to talk about and he started to tell me that he felt I didn't 'give' in the relationship. Now, up until this very moment I had never in my life even considered that I should 'give' in a relationship! I had been in relationships before, and nobody had ever mentioned that I was doing it wrong by not giving! I had been quite content to expect everything, and give nothing! I told him that I didn't think I was giving less than him, and he mentioned that last week, when he was sick, I didn't do anything for him.
What? Of course I did! I came over didn't I? I think I even brought a candy bar to make him feel better! How was that not giving?
Well, a candy bar wasn't very thoughtful. Soup would have been acceptable. Soup would have been thoughtful.
Soup? What, like go buy a can of soup and bring it over? I don't even like soup, why would I want to subject him to it? I told him that to buy a can of soup would not even taste good, and he suggested that I make it then... not from a can!
Well! I knew then I was toast because I have no clue how to Make soup! Who even Does that? For that matter, I couldn't make a cake without a box either, as my mom's recipe book had been destroyed in a pancake incident, and he would just have to accept that as part of me! Well, Wilmer was not relenting so I asked him flat out if he was trying to break up with me. "No, no, no, I'm just saying I would like you to be more thoughtful and giving" Oh, ok then. I'll try. Is that all? We didn't have to drive somewhere for that! ...No, that wasn't all. Apparently our relationship was moving too fast for him. Hey now, I'm not the one who brought up wedding bells a month ago! And it's not like I was going to tell him how I felt first! I know better than that! Hmmmm, maybe he could see it through everything I wasn't saying.... hmm, the whole actions louder than words and whatnot.... so I backpedaled, hard! He didn't buy it. Again, I asked him if he was breaking up with me. He said "No, I just think we need to slow it down, maybe not spend quite so much time together" That sounds like a break up! No, he reassured me that he was absolutely not breaking up with me. We came back to my house and as we were walking up to the door I asked him again, "So, you are not breaking up with me?" No, he replied with a reassuring hug. The next day I decided I'd do something sweet and thoughtful so I wrote him a sweet note, scented it with his favorite perfume, and left it on his car while he was at school. A few hours later he got it and came over. We were sitting in my room and he was saying how with my red hair, and him being Latino, that we were like Ricky Ricardo and Lucille Ball, and that it'd be fun to have that as our wedding theme, with I Love Lucy napkins and such. I brought up some ideas I'd come up with for us to do on Valentine's Day in three weeks and he thought they were great ideas! He left that night with both of us happy. The next day when I got home from work I called Wilmer and was about to ask him about the specifics of when I should make our Valentine's reservations when he cut me off mid-sentence and said, "I don't think you Understand, we're Over, we're not going Anywhere for Valentine's Day." What??? We're over? But...why? "I told you the other night in the car, we are moving too fast and you don't give enough" ... ... ... "I'll see ya around, and call me if you need anything" -click- Wow.... ok... wow... so...... hmmm... exactly how did all of that mean 'we are over'? Did I miss something? Come to find out he later spoke of me as the crazy girl that didn't get it. Well, I dunno about the crazy part, but I still don't get it.

Age... Just A Number?

Josh Hartnett is such a cute boy... and when I say boy I mean it... he is 19. I met him at church when he sat near me and kept eying me until he finally introduced himself to me. Not kidding, I thought he was really cute from across the room... and I only realized he was a bit younger when we spoke. He asked to sit next to me for the next hour and I said he could. He talked to me through the entire meeting. Did I mind? Well... yeah, kinda... I mean, I don't attend church to have social hour. I prefer to pay attention. Oh well, I just had to focus a little more is all. But, after the second time of him talking through the whole meeting I stopped being available to sit next to. When he talks he requires responses. He was trying to get to know me in the middle of the meeting. I didn't see him much for a while, and it was about to be done before it began... until one night at FHE. Josh Hartnett sat near me and I did my best to act unimpressed at the obvious display of trying to impress me he was doing. It really was actually quite impressive! Afterward, we got to talking and I found that he was interested in my interest in accomplishing my fitness goals, and he wanted to spend time with me, AND he loved to work out. I think he saw an 'in' and took it. I saw the cute guy taking his "in" and took that! I agreed to go out with him when he asked me. After all, it would be good to get to know my new work out trainer... right? ;) Now, at this point I though he was maybe 24 or 25. Young, but not too much younger than I. We went miniature golfing... where I had actually gone only days before with someone else. I prayed that a different employee would be working and I would not be recognized only nights later with a different guy. My prayer was answered, and we had a lot more fun than I'd had before. We had a nice long chat over Dippin' Dots and he was so nervous he could hardly function. I didn't mind, it was really kinda cute. I was in a chatty mood so it worked out fine. Afterward we went to dinner. I had said I was in the mood for something delicious... I mean really, when am I not... and when he prodded I said I really wanted steak. I really did, I love steak. So, Josh Hartnett took me for steak. Now, as we are going in to the restaraunt, we are finally getting around to asking the 'getting to know you' questions. Just as we got up to the host I asked him how old he was. I had to stifle a choke when he said he was 19!!! My youngest sister is older than him!!! Help! Oh NO!!! I'm robbing the Cradle! I'm a Cougar! He's been a legal Adult for only ONE year!!! I'm Wayyyyyyy to old for him!!! ... and he didn't seem to mind in the Least! So, I tried to shove down the yelp, close my wide eyes a little, and for goodness sake, just act normal! I didn't want it to get more awkward than I was already feeling at the moment! We had dinner and nice conversation, which definitely helped, and when we were finished he had asked me to come to his house to see his collection of swords. Of course! I'd told him I like swords and he had said he wields them well... which of course interests me! I really like swords and that might make me more of a nerd than you know me to be, but it's true. We actually had a lot of the similar interests. We went and he showed me lots of things he had, things he'd made, and we had quite a lovely time. The night ended late, but it was quite ok that it did. Early the next morning, far too early for my comfort, there was a knock on the door. I ignored it. Another knock and then the doorbell. I waited a few minutes and dragged myself into consciousness and into my sweater and went to the door. I opened the door and laying there was a dozen pink roses and a card. "Oh!" I gasped, those could have only come from one person. Josh Hartnett. I brought them inside and put them in water. The card read "When we get together we Talk like we'll never run out of time, Laugh like we've had too much to drink, Eat like we've never counted calories, Wonder why we don't get together more often. Our times together are some of my favorites" Then he had written, "I still feel intimidated by you, but I guess that will just Be. I had a great time with you last night, I know these are not your favorite flowers but I think you'll like them" He was right, I did. I couldn't go out with him again. Such a young tender heart that was so wanting to be mine. No, that is just Not right and Not fair, and just would not do, no matter how sweet the gesture. I canceled plans and didn't return texts... I would not do anything to lead that sweet, unharmed boy on. I was not wanting to be the girl who broke his charming heart. Weeks passed, actually about 2 months or so passed until early one morning the doorbell rang. I again dragged myself out of bed to find a vase of red roses and a card. This card read "I think about you in the morning, I think about you all day, I think about you at night. Missing you is a full time job." there was a note about how he would be leaving soon for 14 months to go into the military, some other sweet things said, then signed "Yours Truly, Joshua Hartnett" and it had some pictures inside. I sent him a text thanking him sincerely for his sweet words and sweet gesture and asking him not to drop things by so early in the morning. (He had kinda gotten into the habit of texting really early for me which was practically midday for him) He replied saying that there was more and to go look on the hood of my car. I did and sitting there was a box of my favorite chocolates! Wow! Did all of that make my day or what!?! Two weeks later, he left, and we have text a little, and spoken less. He is a quality, and very good-hearted, and charming guy. So sweet, and so un-jaded. I would absolutely recommend him to any young pretty girl, who deserved a perfect gem of a man... her age.

Talk To Me

You know that movie "He's just not that into you"? Well, I'm just not that into him... Johnny Bravo, that is. I mean, I know he's super cute, has lots of muscles, is sweet, and is an all around really great guy who is doing his very best in life... but we can't seem to really connect mentally. As long as I've known Johnny Bravo we have always had a lot of fun together. He's a naturally fun guy, and we always go out with fun people, so we always have a ball! Even one on one we have a lot of fun together. But... the talk never gets very deep. I need that. I need someone who is intellectually stimulating. Fun is never hard for me to find, and in the instance I need to, I create it for myself. I hadn't realized it until just recently when we spent 4 days together, just the two of us. I expect that in social settings we would not have particularly deep conversation, and that communication would revolve around what it was that we were doing. In four days there is a lot of time when nothing is really going on. When he's sitting around waiting for me to finish my hair, there was silence. We could have been talking about... anything. It's not as if I know everything about him, and I felt like he was staying very reserved as to his thoughts, for some reason unknown to me. When Johnny Bravo first arrived, I got lost coming home from the airport so we had a lot of car time to fill... after the initial 'how have you been' and 'how is your family' we didn't really have much to say to each other. There was this Really terrible silence that we were both struggling to fill. Later, I wanted to go to anything social, but that fell through so we watched a movie instead. The next day was better. Actually, I think it got a little better every day. We went ice skating that night and I really was having a lot of fun, but largely not due to him. Something between us was kind of off. I can't pinpoint it, but it just didn't flow. I know, everyone who knows Johnny says we should get married, but I'm just not feeling it. The next day we went shopping and visited a very good friend of mine who was here for the week playing in the snow. My friend and I largely carried the conversation until the topic changed to cars. The last day we went to a dinosaur museum and had a really fun time playing. But that's just it, we play well together... but we don't way deep down mesh well. So, sorry for you girls crossing your fingers... me and Johnny Bravo, that's a no-go. Also, a few months after that I was talking to a girl friend of mine who knows a guy friend of his, ans he told her the most fantastic story! Apparently, Johnny was super upset that we weren't getting married!! He told his friend that we got along so well, that we were madly in love (though it's true that hadn't been said), and that we had made a promise to each other! Well, that promise... it was a promise he made to me that he would call me regularly when he got back to AZ. He called when he got off the plane, but months later that had been it. I hadn't felt the needed connection, so I didn't call him, figuring to spare us another awkward conversation. Dear Johnny... I'm confused... and not marrying you. Goodbye.

Cats... Really?

So I get this phone call from Adam Lambert right? We're talking about country dancing and how that's not really his thing, and what my plans are for Valentine's day,and from just about out of the blue I find myself in the middle of a "non-DTR!" DTR= Determine The Relationship. It's a non-DTR because well... there is no R. And so then can there be no D-ing right? So it was really kind of awkward because we're trying to just "explain what we're thinking." Adam is feeling like he compliments me a lot... and it's true, he does... and I have no complaints about that... but he also feels that I don't reciprocate complimenting. Hmmm, so I'm thinking about it. He has kind of a good point, I don't compliment him on things even a quarter as much as he compliments me. So, I'm thinking about it a sec and what brilliance falls out of my mouth??? Get this... I said, "Do you know what Mark Twain said?" Adam is like, "What!?! I don't Care what Mark Twain said!" I said, "No no no, I'm going somewhere with this... Mark Twain said that redheads are like cats!" Oh good grief, please tell me I am going somewhere Relevant with this... (I'm telling you... it made sense at the moment) Adam says, "Oh Great!! I hate cats! They don't do anything you want them to, they just walk around all the time looking at you like 'I don't care what you think, I'm gonna do whatever I want!" "...Well," I said, "...Don't you think I do that? (silence) What else do cats do?" "Well, they like to be petted and when they're tired of it they just walk away regardless of if you want them to." "Mhmmm," I said, "Go on." "They sit and purr as long as you are doing what they want, but hiss, or scratch, or run off if you don't do it right" So I said, "See, Mark Twain was thinkin' about that before he said it!" " Adam says, "So... what am I supposed to take from that?" I said, "Well, either that you actually do like that cats are that way... or that you really don't like me as much as you might think you do!" Then I jumped into this whole long thing about how I don't want to get into a relationship because when I am in them I tend to spend all my time and energies on that person and being that I just moved here, I want to be able to meet lots of different people and make lots of new friends instead of just one guy and his friends. Well, next thing you know we are both so confused by whatever was falling out of my mouth, that neither of us really had any kind of response to it. So we just sat there a minute and then said. "Ok, well, that was useless, let's not do that again!" Then he says something about how he (figuratively) wrote me a note and I passed it back as a blank page. He could see I was trying to say something, but had zero clue as to what that was. Well, that made two of us. But, nonetheless, it was a lengthy non-DTR and he said he'll wait for me to bring it up next time... phew! THAT I can handle!

Protecting Identities

I have been told, by many people, that the stories of my life are very entertaining. I'd love to share every detail of them, but there's just one problem... a few of the people involved in my life would prefer that their business not be told to everyone who happens upon this blog. Ok, fine, RSM, I'm a creative girl, so I'll modify it a bit. You'll still hear all the stories I would have told you if I had been face to face, but.... instead of getting the names like you would in person, I've decided to give an Alias, a fake name, a pseudonym, to identify each person who wishes to remain unnamed. Now, just to make it a bit more fun, than changing Jane to Sue, and Bobby to Billy, I've decided to name them after movie stars! So, Jane will be Angelina Jolie, and Bobby will be Clark Gable. That'll be much more fun for all of us, don't you think? So, now you can have all the stories and any guessing on who they might be is purely speculation. Oh, and if there is a story that is obvious who it belongs to... it'll be a different name than those that are situational that are not so obvious. Feel free to speculate, but I won't tell for sure! As for my name... I'll tell... just because it's more fun... Chelyse Henderson